sev's Labels and Sexuality

Bisexuality: when gender is a different kind of factor

Feminism: the empowerment of women is good for everyone

Fetish: reclaiming sensuality

Kink: what it is that some of us do

Polyamory: multiple responsible committed loves

Queer: more than just politics

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Queer is another one of those traditionally insulting labels which is being reclaimed by the communities to which it is addressed. I use "queer" because it is an inclusive term which can refer to people of many different sexualities. In the light of my goals, which include tolerance and acceptance of the permutations of human expression, queer provides a level of categorization (for those who like to categorize people) which can be further refined by labels such as, in my case, bisexual.

Why come out?

• See also: Notes on coming out to parents

I feel that *I* benefit a great deal from the work done by those who've come before me -- the out GLBT*'s who've raised the issues of orientation with the rest of society since before I was born. The society I live in, where it's okay for me to be out, didn't get this way by itself -- it got this way because people took risks and came out and showed that queers are more than just the stereotype, that we're all over the place, etc.

However, in case anybody hasn't noticed, we're not there yet. Progress has been made, but prejudice remains. I feel I have a duty to be out so that those who come after me have an easier time of it, just like I have an easier time living my life because of those who came before me. It's respect for my elders, and a desire to pass a legacy of tolerance onto those who are being born right now.

One of the things I'm aware of when I come out is that I'm doing my part to make the world safer for people who, right now, *have* to stay in the closet. People who, for instance, are still dependent on homophobic parents, people who are closeted for fear of getting fired, getting bashed, losing custody of their children, etc.

Those people need support. To get support, they've gotta come out to *somebody*. By coming out, we're raising awareness, making ourselves available to support people who are not comfortable coming out to everyone, and slowly helping forge a world where those people do not have to hide in fear.

There are misconceptions out there that can sometimes be alleviated by more of us queers being visible, in more places, to more people.