sev's Labels and Sexuality

Bisexuality: when gender is a different kind of factor

Feminism: the empowerment of women is good for everyone

Fetish: reclaiming sensuality

Kink: what it is that some of us do

Polyamory: multiple responsible committed loves

Queer: more than just politics

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My search for fetish information on the web saddened me. Somehow it seems that most of the pages available are either hastily put together or slickly crafted for commercial purposes.

With scares like the CDA, I fear that quality information for the fetishist, at least in the USA, will become even harder to find.

A fetish isn't really PC, I suppose. On the surface, fetish can appear as if it were objectification.

In a rather simplistic fashion, it is.

What's a fetish?

However, a fetish isn't an objectification of a person -- it's a sexualization of an object, class of objects, or sometimes a body part that's not ordinarily considered sexual. This often means lingerie, shoes, feet, latex, leather, corsets, or other commonly-recognized fetish items; it can also mean anything that gets you hot.

Once upon a time, a fetish was something that someone found necessary for sexual arousal. The term has become more broad, though; nowadays, it's often used to refer to something that increases arousal, but is not necessary.

Why fetish?

I think of fetish as a way I reclaim my sensuality. So much of my life has been spent trying to be grateful for what I have, and I learned that lesson well; now I'm moving on to something I find a bit more valuable. I'm learning to savor what I have.

Sometimes what I have is a lover that wears something that looks good, or feels good. Sometimes what I have is something that I like to wear. Sometimes it's less concrete than that. Whatever way a fetish enters my life, it gets embedded in my sexual map after I've seen it enough times in a sexual situation that it becomes charged. That leather skirt, those boots, that piece of jewelry -- the first time it makes me twitch, it's because I'm remembering its place in a sensual experience. After awhile -- sometimes a very short while -- it becomes a sensual experience of its own.