Do you know how, every year, around Christmas, you'll see a large number of Santa Clauses around town. You'll see Santa Claus in Macy's, and then walk down the street and see Santa Claus in the Gap. You may ask yourself: how does St. Nicholas accomplish this miraculous feat, of being in many places at the same time? The answer, my friend, is subcontracting.

Now, Miss Teen USA faces many of the same problems as St. Nick. She is wanted to open a McDonald's in Akron, Ohio, at the same time as she is wanted, exemplum gratia, to attend a Halloween party in Seattle. Now, Miss Teen USA could choose to deal with her problems with subcontracting; but as both the esteemed Saint Nicholas and the Microsoft Corporation have discovered of late, subcontracting does not lead to high rates of employee loyalty or retention.

Miss Teen USA instead chooses to make use of an extensive system of individually licensed franchisees, of which I, myself, am one. I've been with the Union since 1987, actually. In addition, Miss Teen USA offers a generous employee stock purchase plan, as a result of which, I myself am a part owner of the Miss Teen USA gestalt.