Smyles

                    IRC Nick: Smyles, MrSmyles and occasionally Tripod
                        Name: Luke D. Porter
       Favorite IRC Channels: #bi and sometimes #paintball
                      E-mail: lporter@plato.ucs.mun.ca
                    Homepage: Yes, by God! (http://www.ucs.mun.ca/~lporter)
                   Nicknames: Apparantly Fuzzybutt, but that wasn't my idea.
                              Also Sheepman or some variation thereof.
          Sexual Orientation: Best description is Not-Het.
                      Gender: Male. What, no "sex" jokes? :(
                         Age: Crusty (25 in human years)
                      Height: 6'
                      Weight: 155lbs. Varies with intake and output.
                        Eyes: 2, shit brown
                        Hair: Yes, also brownish though it goes blond in the 
                              sun. Guess that means it's brown ...
                    Bra Size: It's not size, it's shape and carriage
                              that matters.
                    Birthday: Hate it. Oh, the date? 13/03/70, either a
                              Monday or a Friday, I never did work out which.
           Astrological sign: Fish.
              Clothing Style: Boring. Jeans & t-shirts, sneaks.  
             Shoes/shoe size: Sneaks and winter boots, size 9ish (is that US,
                              UK or EEC?)
                    Jewelery: Gold signet ring, left pinky.
                     Bodyart: Well it's not art, but ....
                      Sports: Ack! Well, ok, paintball, sailing and period
                              fencing.
                       Music: Distressingly close to Musak. Genesis, Rush
                              Marillion, Dire Straits, Abba, Mike Oldfield,
                              the odd soundtrack. You get the picture.
                       Books: Trashy sci-fi/war usually. Historical reference 
                              books, gaming books out the ying yang. Fluff.
                       Poets: Nah, never got into that stuff.
                     Hobbies: See sports, also gaming, arsing around on the
                              computer. Does sex fit in here?
      Real Life Relationship: What? Just one?? Helpless love slave of Mi_Iuil
                              and lust puppet of Tara. 
            IRC Relationship: Mi_Iuil bitches at me on IRC all the time but
                              aside from that, nothing. A bunch of friends
                              though.
          Past Relationships: Ouch. Usually long and self destructive.
            Latest Dumb Move: Falling for 2 smart, strong willed, straight,    
                              amazingly cute and decidedly monogamous women
                              at the same time. Boy, am I stupid.
                       Amory
    (polyamorous/monogamous): Poly, dammit, and don't think that makes it
                              any easier.
                   Group sex: Oh yes :) And will again if the Gods smile
                              upon me (Ha!)
                     Alcohol: Satan's Fluid! Never touch the stuff. I'm
                              a PDD.
                    Turn-ons: You want that chronologically, alphabetically
                              or in order of importance?
          Purity Test Rating: 44% on the 500 question test, and I don't
                              drink or do drugs ....
                     Outness: Not much to be out about, but if you ask I'll
                              tell.
                         Job: Graphic Designer (read Computer Jockey)
                Places lived: Bristol, UK: Halton-on-Lune, UK: St. John's,
                              Canada: Brisbane, Australia.
            Favourite places: Out on the ocean, anywhere hot. Australia is a
                              fav, as is Ireland. I like huge, lonely places.
                   Education: BA. Weeeee .... (Does that count anymore?)
                Future Plans: Get the fuck out of here! So far it consists
                              of moving to the mainland (yes, yes Pam, maybe
                              Chicago). Long range plan is to win the lottery,
                              buy a small tropical island and build a paradise
                              there for me and my friends. Anyone wanna buy me
                              a ticket?
     Religious/Philosophical
                     Beliefs: That's kinda deep for a cool dude in a loose  
                              mood like me, isn't it?
                      Family: Mum, Mum's boyfriend, Dad, Step-mum, Sister, 
                              Step-sister, Step-brother-in-law, 3 dogs, one  
                              cat and numberless hoards of cousins, aunts, 
                              uncles, etc.
                              (And they keep breeding!!!)
                        Pets: 1 rat, Arthur, and one traitorous cat living
                              in luxury with mother. I want a Staffordshire 
                              Bull Terrier but I can't look after it 
                              right now :(
                      Plants: Kill 'em on sight.
             Favourite Foods: Chips and candy. And pasta (I can actually cook
                              pasta!)
           Favourite color/s: Don't really have any. Dark ones I guess.
              Bi/Gay/Lesbian
      Conferences or Marches: None.
  People from IRC/Newsgroups
that I have met in Real Life: The numbers are climbing: Mi_Iuil, Criseyde,
                              Kirsten, DianaB, Martyn, Keefer, Kelley
                              (though she don't count) Dartagnan, MaggyD,
                              Marrk (finally!), Squeeler, Floala, Djin and
                              I almost met Everlast.
         Channel #bi Parties: None :(
                  Hug factor: Yeah, sure, I guess. I'm not really that 
                              huggable though.
              Favorite Quote: "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist ..."
                              - Last words of General John Sedgewick, spoken
                              while looking over the enemy lines at the
                              battle of Spotsylvania, 1866.