07/20/00 -- Break through or breakdown

Maybe not much of a difference

So "Sisters and Sirens" got critiqued today.  I cried.  I didn't expect to.  But I had Henry (my stuffed dog that I've had since I was, like, 2 or something) there.  He understood.  I think the story went over well (I'm still not quite sure I remember most of what was said -- good thing I was writing comments down!), so that wasn't why I lost it.  It was weird.  And that's all I'll say about that.

Maureen said that everyone should write and write and write until they feel there is nothing left and all you've got left, then, are your obsessions.  And what comes out is probably going to be pretty amazing.

Jennifer, Mark and I went out to lunch at Chili's.  I avoided the margaritas, though I wanted one.  We dropped Mark back on campus and went off to the Honda dealership where I got my oil changed and stuff for the drive home.  Whoppee.  It was quarter to 4 and I'd done nothing but deal with my car and cry.  Weird feeling.

A tiny bit past 4:30, Greg knocked on my door... He and Maureen were running around knocking folks up (no, not like that!) to see if we were going to dinner and the reading at Archives.  People in tow, we made our way downstairs and waited for everyone else who was coming then walked to Charlie Kangs (or something like that) to have Chinese and/or Korean food.  Many strange fortune cookies happened.  Ask Greg about his sometime.  I can't remember what it said, only that I was in absolute hysterics over it.

Of course, I'm not really that stable at this point.  Pretty emotionally drained.  A lot of things struck me as way too funny over dinner.  Way way too funny.  I probably laughed more than I should have.  Ah well... at least I was done crying for the day.

We walked the rest of the way to Archives.  I petted Mo the cat (in spite of my resolution not to since I'm allergic and I've been having weird allergy-like-things with my eyes for the past two weeks).  Maureen read from her novel-in-progress, Baby Goth.  It was awesome.  I want to read the rest when it's done.  And she's yet another one to hook us on something that's not finished yet.  Aieeee!  :)

After the reading, Greg, Maureen, Jennifer and I walked back together.  We stopped at Tower Records (we have no self control!) where I wound up getting a Save Ferris album and an Ani Difranco album.  I was still a little weird.  I spent money.  It's a natural reaction to stress and/or depression for me. O:)

A few blocks (and even less self-control) later, we wound up at Killian's (or whatever the chocolate place is called).  We went inside.  I bought four pieces of chocolate.  Only four.  And then ate them all before I went out the door.  *sheepish grin*

Walking and talking, we made our way back to campus.

And Mafia!!!  We played Mafia! *BOING*  I'm so happy!  I thought I was going to be Mafia-deprived, but I wasn't.  We had enough people.  It was so cool! :) :) :)  Chris (from Clarion 98 -- Hi, Chris!) and his girlfriend played with us.  The second game, Greg was narrator and did the whole thing in a Marvin the Martian voice.  Too funny for words.  I actually survived pretty long in that game.  I was impressed. :)  The first one, I was the first to die.  Depressing, really.  Maureen and Greg are oodles of fun to play Mafia with.  I'm looking forward to some convention somewhere where Maureen, Greg and Sean are all playing Mafia together. *teehee*

Anyway... it's time to read and critique so I have something intelligent to say tomorrow morning.  I can't believe it is almost over.  Like really almost over.  Though this morning I had a I really want to fucking go home now moment.  It was when I got into the shower.  I hate the showers here.  I want my really big shower at home so I don't have to crouch funny to get my head under the water; so I don't bump my elbows/hips/head/whatever when I move around in there; so I can stretch my back and legs out and have hot water on them.

Oh, and I have to remind myself that I want to go to Curious Books tomorrow.  They have cool post-cards that are pulp book cover art.  I want them.  I want to decorate my cube at the office with them when I get back.  (Not that I want to think about that right now -- that less than a week from now I'll be putting things back up in my cube.  Aieee!)

So then I went to do reading/critiquing.  And then to sleep.  Honest.  I swear.

No, really!

 

Okay, so other folks are talking about their productivity here.  I decided I may as well, too. This list (and my productivity) is subject to change without notice. :)
Title	Word Count	Finished	Critiqued?
"Where the Blood Roses Grow" Week one, first story.  Wahoo.  And I was worried that something wouldn't come.	5000	6/13	6/15
"Uprooting the Tree" Will probably change the title at some point.	3400	6/16	6/19
"Mockingbird Girl" I think I'm happiest with this story, so far.	2800	6/19	6/26
"Poor as Paupers, Rich as Royalty" My challenge story from Sean's week.  I hated writing it.  It gave me a toothache.	2000	6/22
That fucking first person narrative (not yet complete) - May never be completed.  Don't I feel like an idiot...	(400)
"Switched to Overload"  (That other fucking first person narrative) Actually, I like this one better than the one above it ...  Even if it did wind up being two first person narratives in one story.  o.O	4900	6/27	7/3
"Sweeter Than Honey, Stronger Than Wine"  (My Tananrive Due challenge story.  Write a story in the style of an author whose work you admire.  Aieee!  It was sort of supposed to be in the style of Tanith Lee.  I'm not sure I hit that.  But it's definitely got a Christina Rossetti influence.)	9200	7/2	7/10
"Hypothetical Beaches" I really hope it turns out to be not quite as stupid as I feel like it is.  Finished it just before Maureen and Greg's 24-hour moratorium on writing.  (In case you're wondering, it started from a free-write.)	2800	7/10	7/13
"From Time to Time" (unfinished) Fucked if I know what this is going to turn into if it will turn into anything over the next couple of days.  It's twisted.  Or at least a little gross.	(837)
"Sisters and Sirens" It's first person.  Ugh.  You'd think I'd've learned after "Switched to Overload".  Feh.  I think I like it, but I'm not sure.  Everything I thought was in there isn't, but I don't know how I can put it in there ... or if I really want to.  The stuff that isn't in there is in my head and makes me cry.	3800	7/18	7/20