06/16/00 -- The Convenience Store God
What is in my head? How did it get
there? And why is it all coming out now?
More critiques. (We critiqued the first
sleep-dep story -- it's only week one! Lister says there are
standard Clarion stories that start happening around week 4, but he's not
going to tell us what they are, though he'll point them out when they
appear. I can't wait!) We're getting to the point where the
stuff finding its way into the manuscript box is repeats, or, rather
they're second (and in Karen's case, third!!!) stories by people.
I'm one of the guilty party. Which is a little bit scary since we
just critiqued one story yesterday and I've got a new one in the box
today. It's amazing how fast people are turning things out, and I
don't just mean me.
I realized this morning, as I was shuffling
through my stack of papers to find what I needed for class, just how much
paper I'm going to have to take home with me if I don't revise any of my
stories while I'm here. If I write 1 story/week x 6 weeks x (an
average of) 3000 words (which is 18 pages) x 20 critiques, that's, umm, er,
well, a whole lot of paper I hadn't planned on bringing back with
me. I thought I'd get rid of two reams of paper and have extra space
in the box. Nope. Not something I had even thought about,
really. Ah, well, I should still be able to fit Paula in the car on
the way home. O:)
Skipped lunch today. I was too tired.
I came back to my room, zoned out for two hours, then slept for two
hours. Jen and I actually made it to the gym this evening... Linda
came along with us. There are lots of weird machines there.
Have I said this already? That I fear becoming stuck in one and
finding myself subject to an alien autopsy? Well, we worked out, and
talked about future workouts and about maybe, at some point, trying to
find the other gym (in hopes that it has more free weights and elliptical
machines!). Then Jen and I talked about free writing, decided that
it was something we would do over dinner, but we both wanted to get
something done before then.
So back up to the room and into the shower for
me, then dove into two of the three stories we're critiquing
tomorrow. When I finished those, I called Jen and we went off to
Chili's where we had dinner (late dinner -- 10pm dinner -- where does the
time go?). We also did two free writes. I haven't done
anything remotely like this since, er, well since BI (Basic Inquiry) at
LC. We set the first one for five minutes, the second one for
seven. The point of a freewrite is to start with a word or a phrase
or an idea, and write it into something, and to keep writing for the
time-limit, even if you just start babbling about how much longer you've
got to write. It's a way to turn off the internal editor, and to
just vomit onto the page.
And that's exactly what I did. The 5-minute
free write started with "Get onto the bus". The free write
for that wasn't so strange. The 7-minute free write started with
"The Convenience Store God" and I wondered, when the seven
minutes were up, what in the world was in my head. Actually, I
wondered that before the seven minutes were up. That was just
weird. I might try and work some of it into a story. It has
the same grit and the same vividness of some of the stuff that my muse
smacks me with, but it doesn't have a story to it, really. It's just
a very bizarre scene.
I'd like to turn out another story this weekend,
but I'm not sure if I can. I've got the nibblings of an idea... and
the blatherings from the second free write. If I can do something
with one (or both!) this weekend, I'll be psyched. If I try and
fail, I've got some old ideas and old blatherings I can fall back
on. I'm not worried about the ideas. I'm worried about the
stories. Still. I feel like the story I turned in this morning
was trite and clichéd, like I'd dipped into every cyberpunk/net cliché
and dumped them in. Oh, well. If people hate it, they hate
it. At least I won't find out until Monday or Tuesday. Maybe
I'll bring grumpy Pikachu to that session. He's a little bit easier
to manage than Lansing... especially if I don't know which day that
critique will happen.
Hilary, I am trying to get sleep (and eat right
and exercise)! I promise. Reassure Cassie, too. :) And
when I can't sleep at night, I'm grabbing a nap during the day. This
is going to wreak havoc with me when I get home if I wind up on a weird
schedule while I'm here that I can't shake when I get home. I can
see it now. It's 12:30 or 1 at the office. Where's Aynjel?
She's curled up under her desk asleep. 2 hours later, she crawls
out, bright eyed and bushy tailed and ready to finish the day... which
ends at 2 or 3 am. Oooh, clients will just love me! :)
Oh well. I've got to take it when I can get
it. (Boy, that sounds bad!)
And I can get it now, so I may as well take it.