06/09/00 -- On the Road

It's been a while since I've road-tripped

I was twenty miles outside of Denver when I wished the drugs would kick in.  Actually, I wished for drugs that could kick in.  Drugs beyond caffeine, something I'd been trying to avoid up until this morning.  But on five hours of sleep with a 10+ hour drive ahead of me, caffeine was a necessity.

In those first hours on the road, I was a wreck.  I alternately cried and then went manic, then cried again, faster than you could say 'bipolar'. I was afraid this was what the entire drive had in store for me.

I don't' think it helped that I was listening to the mix CDs that I made from some of Jonah's music.  The music I couldn't' leave behind.  Everything reminded me of him, or reminded me of how I feel about him, how much I love him.

I didn't think I'd cry driving off from the house.  I've said good bye to him before.  I've gone off for a week or two at a time without any ill effect.  But this was like saying good bye to him while I was in college, when he'd come to visit or I'd go to visit him.  It was like saying good bye and not knowing when I would see him again.  It made me crazy.  It made me cry.  It probably doesn't help that I was worried about him, still, either.

He better be there when I get home.  If he isn't, I'll bring him back to life and kill him again.

I discovered that Nebraska is Bug Country while I was driving.  The morning was cool enough that I could keep the windows down.  So I did.  Until I wound up splattering a bug on my forehead.  At least, when I felt the splut, I thought the bug had died on my forehead.  It turns out that the guts just splattered onto my forehead.  The bug actually died on my sunglasses.  I discovered the corpse when I took them off to clean them (there were little tear-spots all over the insides of the lenses from tears on my eyelashes).

I drove with the window up after that.

I found Paula in Des Moines.  This was one of my greatest fears, that somehow, we wouldn't' find each other.  But we did.  And I got suitably razzed for "packing light".  I did pack light, honest.  You wouldn't believe what I left at home.

Dinner at the Country Kitchen soothed the beasts, then we grabbed Paula's stuff and shoved it (literally, in a few cases) into my car.  Paula took the keys, and we were off (again).  We drove until we hit Davenport, grabbed gas for the car, and a hotel for us.

There was a pool.  We contemplated swimming then promptly got ready for bed.  Swimming will just have to wait.

I can't believe Clarion is almost happening.