02/15/00 -- The Wide World of Wrestling
Confessions of a woman who watches WCW
Or something...
I brought it up yesterday. Yes, I watched wrestling on
Valentine's Day. Surprise you? I'm an intelligent (I'd like to think) woman.
And I watch wrestling.
And it's kind of like reading porn. If I buy a wrestling
magazine, I feel like I've got to hide it. If I turn on WCW Nitro, I feel all
sheepish when someone else is watching it with me. I don't go so far as to change
the channel, but I twitch when my sweetie tells me how fake it looks and gives me
TheLook(tm). That look that shows that maybe he's starting to doubt that I'm an
intelligent woman because I watch this crap that's obviously fake.
I watched wrestling when I was a kid. I watched GLOW (the
Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling). It was cool. My sister and I would tape it on
Saturday mornings/afternoons if we weren't going to be around to watch it. It was
fun and silly and we talked about being wrestlers when we grew up. I never watched
WWF because, well, at that point, it wasn't entertaining to me. At that point, I
preferred GLOW with it's little taped skits between matches, with it's cute little
characters. And hey, maybe I liked it better because it was women rolling around on
the mat with each other. Who knows. I certainly don't remember my thought
process from fifteen (or more) years ago when I watched it.
I stopped watching wrestling when GLOW went off the air. I
pretty much forgot about wrestling after that, really. Sure, I knew who some of the
big names were. I knew who Hulk Hogan was. And Andre the Giant and Rowdy Rodey
Piper and The Macho Man. I knew who Jimmy Hart was and who Lou Albano was. And
at some point on Saturday mornings, I watched (off and on) the wrestling cartoon that was
on.
But for ten or fifteen years, I stopped watching wrestling.
As far as I knew, they didn't do it anymore. They didn't show it on TV.
And I didn't care.
I started watching wrestling again a year ago. I was in my
hotel room while working on the road. I wanted to write. I wanted background
noise... something mindless... something I wouldn't start watching. I flipped the
channels with the remote. No, MTV would annoy the crap out of me. Sit coms
would bug me to death. Wrestling! Ha! I could turn on wrestling because I'd
never watch that. It'd be background noise. It wouldn't bug me.
For weeks, on Mondays, I'd turn on WCW Nitro and just have it as
background noise. Now and then, I'd look up from my laptop, from whatever story I
was working on, and see what was happening, then back to the story. But as time went
by, the amount of time I paused to see what was going on went longer and longer. I
got involved in the little rivalries and in the characters. And soon, I was hooked.
I wasn't writing during wrestling, I was writing during the commercials.
It's like a big, sweaty, testosterone-laden soap opera. And
I'm still hooked. And I find myself thinking, Gee, I wanna be a wrestler!
Again. Like when I was a kid. Only now, much like being a writer, I
have a better idea of what it might take to get into it. I know I need to get into
shape. If I really want to be a wrestler, I need to go to one of the
wrestling schools. I may or may not try once all is said and done, but I'm working
on the getting into shape thing. If nothing else, wrestling's been good for that...
motivating me to get my butt in gear and do what I know I need to do for my health.
I take a lot of flack for watching wrestling from my sweetie.
My god! That is so fake! They'd never fly across the ring like that
because someone hit them like that. It's impossible! They're
breaking laws of physics! That couldn't really have hurt the other guy, he didn't
really touch him! And Boo and I have tried to explain that the point of
wrestling really isn't to hurt people, but to entertain the crowd. No, it
isn't a real sport, but yes, they are athletes. But my sweetie just rolls his eyes
and wonders, again, why I watch it. He's forbidden me to let any kids we might have
in the future watch wrestling.
All I can do is shrug. I suppose I'll send any potential future
kid to his or her room while I watch wrestling, then. Same thing I'd do if I wanted
to watch smut.
But, as long as it still entertains me, I'm probably going to
keep watching wrestling. And hiding my wrestling magazines the way I hide my smut
books when someone comes to look over my shoulder.