02/05/00 -- Going to Clarion!

I heard about this last night.  I think I'm still in shock.   I'm going to Clarion this summer!  They accepted me!

I wanted this so badly I could taste it and now I've got it and I'm not entirely certain what to do with it.  My head is broken.  I'm going to Clarion.

I told a friend of mine last night that I got accepted.  He said, in a rather careful tone, "You know it's like boot camp, right?"  I laughed.  And laughed and laughed.  Of course I know it's like boot camp.   I get to spend six terrible, wonderful weeks writing and critiquing and getting my ego alternately crushed and shredded.  I'll be a wreck by the end of it.  My sweetie may not recognize me by the time I get home.  But I'm flying.

I didn't realize just how tense I was over this.  When I looked at the email message in my inbox last night I let out a long, loud shriek.  I think I scared the dog.  And my fiancÚ.  And my housemate, Boo.  Something was wrong.  That was what my sweetie thought.  Lord only knows what the dog thought.  He stopped caring, though, when I petted and scritched him with wild abandon, knowing he'd enjoy the psychotically happy attention far more than Boo would have.

And after that, a whole lot of tension just melted away.  I felt giddy. I felt free.  I felt relaxed... for the first time in weeks.   Or for the first time since I started hearing that people were getting accepted.   Yeah, I knew that if I applied that there was a chance that I wouldn't get in.   And I thought that if I didn't get in that I'd probably deal with it, but I realized (once I read the acceptance email) that I didn't know what I would have done if I didn't get in.  I don't know how I would've dealt.  And I think I'm just as glad that I don't have to find out.

Now I just have all of the nail-biting until it starts!  But that's good nail biting.  It's not like waiting for something that may not happen.   It's more like the Christmas when my mother locked all of our presents in my dad's truck since he was working out of town.  That was frustrating.  The wait from now until Clarion will be frustrating, too, but I suppose, in the end, it'll be worth it.  After all, I got a Nintendo that Christmas. And that was the only thing I'd really asked for.  *grin*