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For Immediate Release
Church of Mez Announces That They Have Mystical Secrets Too

SEATTLE, Washington--May 13, 2000--Not to be outdone by the Catholic Church with their so called 'visions of fatima,' the Church of Mez announced today that they too have mystical secrets revealed by people with funny names.

"Sure, we've got plenty of secrets," Said the Reverend O'Malley, CoM Director of Really Serious Mystical Shit. "In all honesty, our secrets are much, much, more interesting then theirs... Sorry, no, I'm not going to say. Well, maybe a bit."

Over the years the Church's refusal to reveal the visions of the guy with the funny hair on the grounds that they've really no idea what he was on, inspiring no books, or doomsday cults. Church officials contend that the world is not ready to hear such heavy things. At least not without having a good stiff drink first.

O'Malley said that the visions foretold someone, wearing something shiny, sneaking off into the basement with someone else, also wearing something shiny. They also foretold great suffering, and eventual martyrdom by a hottub. The message, said O'Malley, were a call to conversion, appealing to humanity so that it does not fall into the trap of forgetting to wear something shiny, or perhaps some velvet, or maybe a few very small strips of rubber.

The Church of Mez, Inc. ignited the fringe transhumanist cult revolution in 1998 with the inception of the Church of Mez and is recommitted to its original mission--to bring big hair and loose morals to artists, scientists, computer professionals, and other miscreants in over 140 countries around the world. 

Press Contacts:
M. David Bryant
COM, INC
email: mason@mezziah.org

Nantzee L.
COM, INC
email: brainwasher@mezziah.org
© 2000 Church of Mez, Inc. All rights reserved. Mez, the Mezhead logo, and the Big Hair of Mez are registered trademarks of The Church of Mez, Inc. Additional company and product names may be trademarks or registered trademarks of the individual companies and are respectfully acknowledged.

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