Childhood Dreams
September 21, 1999

Things I've always wanted as a kid, hmmm?

I want to fly. Not just in an airplane. Not like Superman or Space Ghost, either. I want wings. Huge wings to spread against the sky. Wings that block out the sun for a heartbeat as I pass by. I want them to be feathery sometimes and dragon-like others to fit my mood.

But wings aren't practical. They're not something I'll ever have. I can deal with that.

I want to go to Egypt. I want to go to Greece. I want to go to Rome. I want to wander among the ruins of temples and pyramids and see all of the places I've read about, all of the places that made me feel whimsical and powerful, all of the places that made me think and wonder and dream.

I want to write. I want to write and write and write until I've run out of words and have to make up words of my own to keep going.

I want to draw (better than I do now). Because sometimes words just don't do justice to the pictures in my head no matter how much I write.

I want to explore hidden places, places no one has found yet, places no one would believe in if I told them about the. I want to snorkle on the Great Barrier Reef (again) and feel the water all around me, listen to the popping shrimp, watch the sharks--sleek and dangerous and beautiful--swimming along, dodge the tiny jellies as they float through the water and feel them sticky and stingy against my skin. I want to smell of salt and sand and sun after being out in the water all day. I want to hold a baby sea turtle in the palm of my hand (again) and be afraid for it and hopeful at the same time. I want to feel timeless as I encounter wonder after wonder.

I want to make people laugh and cry and feel for the characters I create. I want those characters to become as real for the imaginations of the people reading about them as other writers' characters were for me. I want kids to talk to my characters when they're lonely because my characters are that real to them... better than an invisible friend. I _almost_ want people to write fan fiction based on my characters and my worlds because they're inspired by them. But even more than that, I want my fiction to inspire people to create worlds and characters and stories of their own.

I want everything I experience to work its way into a story ... somehow. A smell here, a sound there, a feeling or a thought somewhere else...

Some of the things I've wanted as a kid are still there in the whimsical part of my mind (I still want wings). Some of them have changed, some of them haven't. For some of them I've found words to describe and experiences to illustrate, for others, I'm still waiting.

(I think this was something that I babbled on about on the Rumormill at one point.)